Saturday, July 10, 2010

CSET 119

Well, I finished the cset today and am happy to say I will never be taking it again!! That doesn't mean I passed (I will get the results August 8th), but it doesn't mean I didn't not pass either! (I know that sentence was not the most grammatically correct, but I figure since it's a blog, it's ok.) The reason I say I will never be taking it again, is because if I passed then I will get to go on to student teaching; if I did not pass, then I am changing my direction to English. I don't really know how well bargaining or reverse psychology works with God (probably not too well haha) but after 8 times of taking this test, I'm done... and I kindly told Him that. So it's all literally in His hands which, in my opinion, is the best place it could be.

Some pretty cool things have happened in the last 24 hours. Last night I read Lamentations chapter 3. The first part of the chapter made me sad, but when I got to verses 21-26, I cried happy tears instead:

21 Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this:
22 The faithful love of the Lord never ends!
His mercies never cease.
23 Great is his faithfulness;
his mercies begin afresh each morning.

I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance;
therefore, I will hope in him!”

The Lord is good to those who depend on him,
to those who search for him.

So it is good to wait quietly
for salvation from the L

How cool is that?? I went to sleep with that thought on my mind. I also like how it is worded in The Message:

19-21 I'll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness, the taste of ashes, the poison I've swallowed. I remember it all—oh, how well I remember— the feeling of hitting the bottom. But there's one other thing I remember, and remembering, I keep a grip on hope:

22-24 God's loyal love couldn't have run out,
his merciful love couldn't have dried up.
They're created new every morning.
How great your faithfulness!
I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over).
He's all I've got left.

25-27 God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits,
to the woman who diligently seeks.
It's a good thing to quietly hope,
quietly hope for help from God.
It's a good thing when you're young
to stick it out through the hard times.

(No doubt, I am diligently seeking!)

When I woke up this morning, I had mixed emotions about the test and my future/career. I went to my friend, Lonnie's house to say hi, talk a little bit, and pray. After praying together I felt a total peace about it all. I texted him after I left and asked for a verse for encouragement to hold onto for the day. He gave me Exodus 14:14. I looked it up in a few different versions; they're all pretty cool, so here they are:

"The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still." NIV
"The LORD himself will fight for you. Just stay calm." NLT
"The LORD will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace." NKJV

That was a great verse to have today. I like how the NKJV talks about peace. That's what I felt this morning after leaving Lonnie's, I felt it while taking the test, and I still feel it now. (Thank you, Lord!)

(I do believe God is wanting to teach me to "be still." Maybe I will be able to post my experiences with that sometime)

I was taught, and totally believe, that numbers and colors have meanings and significances. I also texted Lonnie and asked him what the number 8 means (since this was going to be my 8th attempt at passing this specific cset). He texted me back and said it means, "New Beginnings." I thought that was really cool!! I called my mom and told her and she agreed that was pretty awesome; especially since when she prayed for me this morning, she said she prayed for "new beginnings" for me!!! I love my mom!!!
I am so excited!! In a way, today is like the first day of the rest of my life. Everything is going to change after today and, whatever way it goes, I know it is in God's hands.
God has also been reminding me how very important it is to TRUST HIM. I don't know what the future holds (specifically speaking about my career as a teacher) but I fully trust God and know that He will lead me in the direction that brings Him the most glory!!

Thanks for reading and God bless!

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