Photo Journal : Day 3

I decided that I want my blogs to be real and honest. Not every day is perfect... today could have been worse.... I just want to write about my life and what really goes on.

Today I took another one of my ASL classes to the California School for the Deaf (CSD) in Fremont. It was fun, but last week was better. I signed more last week and had more confidence afterwards. Today I have been feeling unmotivated and weak. As I type this, I feel selfish and lame; I'm not sure what's going on. I started school 3 years ago to become a teacher. The program was supposed to be a year and a half long, but due to the CSET, it's taking me at least twice that amount of time to finish what I started. Talk about frustrating! I feel dumb and have thoughts such as, "What made you think you could ever become a teacher?" I was never wonderful with school; I have a hard time remembering things and passing tests. The only classes I excelled in were Bible and Sign Language, but both have been sitting on my mental "shelf" for so long that thoughts, ideas, and signs have changed or are no longer used. Basically, I feel useless when it comes to "doing something with my life." Don't get my wrong, I have a lot of joy in my home, I just don't feel a specific purpose outside of here. I want to be used by the Lord and do things for Him. If this is all a training for something greater in the future, I feel I'm bound to fail.

As I am fasting, I've decided to pray for purpose, as well as a few other things. I'm confident that the Lord will show me someday what He wants me to do. I just hope and pray that I will hear Him and be ready to go.

Sorry for the "Debbie Downer" entry today. This too shall pass...

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Photo Journal : Day 2

The highlight of my day : After school today I went to Brentwood for Chase Helming's last volleyball of this season. He's a Freshman at Heritage High School and this is his first year playing volleyball. He's on JV and was a stud!! He has a great serve and got about 3-4 aces! He hits well and he has a great overhand pass. He'll be on Varsity next year for sure. He played in a Varsity tournament last weekend and did well with them.

While I was there my best friend, Kimmie, came to watch the game and hang out too. I love her. We got dinner, went to Target, went to her house to say hi to her family, and then I went back to the Helmings to say goodbye before heading back to Livermore.

Kimmie is such an amazing person and I wish we lived closer together so we could hang out more often.

Overall it was a good day.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Picture Journal : Day 1

Mika

I read in a book I have about doing a photo journal on my blog. It says to take a picture each day and write a little something about it. Then, I can go to blurb.com and order my blog into a book. I thought it sounded like a great idea! I tend to have issues with doing something like that everyday, but I want to try it and promise to do my best.

So for day 1, I took a picture of our puppy Mika (mee-ka). In Russian it means God's Child and in Native American it means Wise Raccoon. Once we read the definitions, we knew it was the perfect name for her. She was born January 30, 2011 making her about 14 weeks old now.

She has been a joy (and at times a pain) to have in our little blue-eyed family. Overall, we are extremely happy that we got her. She is Koda's actual sister, just 2 litters later. She looks and acts so much like Koda when he was her age! They both drink the same way (very messy), they both talk, and they are both total lovers. She seems to jump and bite a bit more than he did, but I think she'll learn soon enough that that's not ok. She caught on very quickly how to sit and wait for her food. I just added "lay down" into that mix and she does great at it!

Koda loves having her around! At first he was hesitant, but after a few days they were sharing the dog bed and playing non stop. Koda has been a wonderful big brother. They wrestle together and run around the backyard. She mostly tucks and rolls when Koda comes flying by her, but as she grows she'll be able to stand her ground. We love watching them interact. Though Koda could probably break her with one snap of his jaw, he gets down to her level and plays just gentle enough that he doesn't hurt her. We've even seen times where he literally tries to tell her what's not ok to do. For example, she started to get into some tissue paper yesterday. Koda did his low rumble "talking" and seemed to be telling her, "That's a bad idea."

We also noticed that sometimes Koda needs his "me" time. He gladly goes and lies down in his crate for a while until he is ready to be around her again. Even though Mika can get on all of our nerves sometimes, Koda has been much more happy and less stressed since we got her. And we've enjoyed having a soft puppy around again. They both bring us joy and we love them very much. They are our "children" and we are grateful to have them.

Our "wise raccoon"

Monday, May 9, 2011

The Daniel Fast

As I said yesterday, I started doing a Daniel Fast. I'm on day 8 of 21. Last Sunday I stocked the house with healthy foods for the fast. If you've never heard of a Daniel Fast before, it's a partial fast in which some foods are restricted. In a nutshell, it's a Vegan diet on crack. No animal by-product, No sweeteners/sugar, No refined or processed food products, No deep-fried foods, No solid fats, Only water to drink. Needless to say, after the first day I knew it was going to be a rough three weeks. I am a snacker. I love sugar. I love meat. I love milk and cheese.

I went to the store and bought The Daniel Fast by Susan Gregory. I found out about her by stumbling upon her blog: http://danielfast.wordpress.com/ I highly recommend this book! It has information about what the Daniel Fast is, how to make the most of it spiritually, it has lots of delicious recipes (and I'm pretty picky sometimes), and it comes with a devotion for a 21 day fast.

Tonight I made one of her recipes: Black Bean, Corn, and Brown Rice Stuffed Peppers; doesn't it look lovely? :) I also bought some Matzos crackers to eat with it (those are my new favorite snack food, and I will continue to buy them even after the fast is over). The meal was DELICIOUS!!!

Ingredients:

- 2 cans (15 oz each) black beans, drained (I only used one can and it was more than enough)

- 3 cups brown rice, divided

- 1 cup frozen corn kernels (I used canned; just be sure there's no sugar added to it)

- 2 scallions, sliced

- 1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro (I didn't have any and it was still yummy!)

- 2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil (just "eyeball" it)

- 2 tablespoons fresh lime juice (I didn't have any limes, so I used 1/2 a lemon and it was great)

- 1 clove garlic, minced (I only had garlic powder; still great)

- salt and freshly ground pepper to taste

- 2-3 large bell peppers, cut in half lengthwise and cored

- 2 cups 100% vegetable or tomato juice

Directions:

1. preheat oven to 350 degrees.

2. Using a large bowl, gently combine the beans, 1 cup of brown rice, corn, scallions, cilantro, olive oil, lime juice, and garlic. Season with salt and pepper to taste.

3. Place the pepper halves in a large glass baking dish and stuff them with the bean and rice mixture.

4. Carefully spoon some of the juice over each stuffed pepper, trying not to disrupt the filling. Pour the remainder of the juice into the dish. Cover with foil and bake for 45-60 minutes.

5. To serve, place about 1/2 cup of brown rice on each plate, spoon some of the juice from the baking dish on the rice, and then place a stuffed pepper on top of the rice.

6. Serve hot.

Makes 4 servings

For now, I am going to keep my reasons for fasting to myself. But as I learn and grow, I will share with you what God does. After the fast, I will talk about everything, including what I am fasting for. If you think about it, please pray for me the next two weeks. Thanks! More to come on the Daniel Fast tomorrow.....

I remembered!!

I almost forgot to write about something that I have been wanting to post:
I started a Daniel Fast last week. It has been hard and amazing at the same time. I've been wanting to post what I learn and experience. I'll try to compose my thoughts tomorrow and put a lengthier post about it. In fact, I will put a reminder in my phone right now to post more tomorrow.
The other thing that I have been interested in doing, is a post and a picture a day... we'll see how that goes. For now, stayed tuned...

Commitment Issues???

When we moved into the apartment, I thought that I hadn't put very much on the walls because we knew we wouldn't be living there for very long. But now that we're in a house, and we plan to be here for quite some time, I'm starting to think it's more than the short-term living situation that's preventing me from hanging things.

I realized today that I have a hard time fully committing where to put something. Sounds like a stupid problem... and it is... but our house just won't be complete until I buck up and get these walls decorated.

I've found pieces of art that I like, but Vince really wants all the pictures in the house to be made by ME (aaahhh!!!) So not only is there pressure for where to hang pictures, but alsowhatto hang. What have I done that's worthy of hanging on a wall??? I do plan on hanging some of our wedding photos which were taken by Euan Rannachan (euanart.com) because those are AMAZING!!! But where to hang them??? and which ones to print on canvas???

I have issues.

Vince tells me, "They're just walls." My response, "Walls in our home." This is probably the lamest post on my blog yet, but that's what's on my mind, so that's what is being posted.

The other thing on my mind: The Royal Wedding. It was so beautiful! It makes me want to marry Vince all over again, and again!! Plus Prince William looks like Vince (not the other way around, since Vince is older than the Prince), so I think that makes me dream about it even more.

Thanks for reading my random thoughts. If you have any advice on how to overcome my fear of decorating our blank walls, please let me know.

I took the following pictures and messed with them today to possibly hang above our bed. Any thoughts? be honest; I can take it.

Great Books!!!

I just finished reading Francine River's "A Lineage of Grace." She had written these books a while ago and sold them as separate hardbacks, but has just put them out in a paperback and it has all of the books in one! It was amazing!!! "We meet the 5 women whom God chose-- Tamar, Rahab, Ruth, Bathsheba, and Mary. Each was faced with extraordinary--even scandalous--challanges. Each took great personal risk to fulfill her calling. Each was destined to play a key role in the lineage of Jesus Christ, the Savior of the World."

I love Christian Historical Fiction, so this book was right up my alley! I felt like I was friends with the characters. I felt their joy and their pain. I learned more about the Bible and it helped me to dig into Scripture I had not read in a long time. I highly recommend these!!

Next, I will be reading "Sons of Encouragement."

"Francine Rivers illuminates the lives of five Biblical men who stood behind the heroes of faith and quietly changed eternity. Aaron, Caleb, Jonathan, Amos, and Silas each faithfully sought after God in the shadows of His chosen leaders. They answered God's call to serve without recognition of fame. And they gave everything, knowing their reward might not come until the next life."